WTF oO LOLFAIL BLEACH CHATROOM
by Emminyan
Summary: The Bleach characters got a brand new shiny chatroom! what in the world do they talk about? Read for surefire lol crack. Rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

**WTF o_O LOLFAIL BLEACH CHATROOM**

* * *

**You are now logged in.**

**Strawberry has logged in.**

Strawberry: Yo

SilentGiant: Ichigo

Badass-Nerd: Kurosaki. *pushes glasses up*

TanabataGRL: Kurosaki-kun. Konichiwa!!

Strawberry: What's up guys?

Badass-Nerd: Not much *pushes glasses up*

SilentGiant: just talking about things.

TanabataGRL: yeah, like the shinigami.

Strawberry: ORLY?

Badass-Nerd: yeah. It's been really lively these last few months because of them. *pushes glasses up*

Strawberry: well at least it never gets boring.

**ChappyTheBunny has logged in.**

Strawberry: speaking of which.....

ChappyTheBunny: hiya!!! What's up?

TanabataGRL: hi hi Kuchiki-san! How are you?

ChappyTheBunny: hungry. I hope Yuzu finishes with dinner soon. Hi Sado! Hi Ishida.

Badass-Nerd: Hello Kuchiki-san *pushes glasses up*

SilentGiant: Rukia.

Strawberry: what? No hello for me?

ChappyTheBunny: why should i when i can talk to you in person?

Badass-Nerd: Huh? What do you mean?*pushes glasses up*

TanabataGRL: yeah, and isn't yuzu kurosaki-kuns's sister?

Strawberry: uh oh. Dammit Rukia you let it spill!!!!!!

ChappyTheBunny: let what spill? I thought they knew.

Strawberry: They didn't!!!!

Badass-Nerd: KNOW WHAT!!!!!

TanabataGRL: i want to know!

SilentGiant: ...........

Strawberry: well... Rukia lives with me.

BadassNerd: whaaaaaaaaa!

TanabataGRL: OMG!!!!!

SilentGiant: ..............................................

SilentGiant: o_O

ChappyTheBunny: i did when i first met him too. I slept in his closet!

Strawberry: Rukia!!!

Badass-Nerd: KUROSAKIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

**TanabataGRL has logged off.**

SilentGiant:.........................................

SilentGiant: ..................................................................................

SilentGiant: .................................................................................................................................

SilentGiant: *thumbs up at Ichigo*

Strawberry: wha!! Don't do that Chad, it's nothing like that.

Badass-Nerd: it sure doesn't sound like that. What have you been doing to her Kurosaki!!!!

Strawberry: nothing like that. I swear.

Badass-Nerd: Really?

Strawberry: Really

ChappyTheBunny: Ichigo, what do they mean by what you are doing to me??

Strawberry: NOTHING!!!!

Badass-Nerd: NOTHING AT ALL!!!

SilentGiant: ........... nothing

ChappyTheBunny: oh, OK!!!

Strawberry: jeez Rukia. Next time think before you speak.

ChappyTheBunny: What do you mean ichigo?

Strawberry: it means the next time you are asked such a question, don't just go running your mouth with whatever pops in your head. Thats being rash.

ChappyTheBunny: oh ho! This coming from you mr. Doesn't-think-and-gets-himself-half-killed!

Strawberry: whats that supposed to mean!!

ChappyTheBunny: you know very well what it means. You don't think!!

Strawberry: gimme a break, im new to the job!

ChappyTheBunny: ive explained things to you perfectly!!!!

Strawberry: those drawings of yours do more harm than good!

ChappyTheBunny: don't mock my artistic skills!!!!

Badass-Nerd: uh, guys

Strawberry: shut up ishida!!!!

ChappyTheBunny: shut up ishida!!!!

Strawberry: *glare*

ChappyTheBunny: *glare*

Strawberry: *glare*

ChappyTheBunny: *glare*

Strawberry: ................................ chappy the bunny sux.

ChappyTheBunny: ICHIGOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

**ChappyTheBunny has logged off**

Strawberry: OH SHI-

**Strawberry has logged off**

Badass-Nerd: they're made for each other

SilentGiant: definitely in love.

**You have logged off**

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Authors note:

Ohayoo!! How are you my lovely readers? This is just a purely crack fic, its amazing how bored you can get doing that pesky holiday homework. But im thinking of making it into a chaptered fic. Next chapter the Shinigami might make an appearance *gasp!* if you have any suggestions or requests for what you would like the characters to talk about, just **review** or pm , I should really stop rambling now….. JA NEE!!! (Waves happily)


	2. What boys read on FanFiction

**WTF LOLFAIL BLEACH CHATROOM**

**Chapter two: What boys read on Fanfiction**

**You are now logged in**

**Strawberry has logged in**

Strawberry: Yo

Strawberry:Anyone home???

**BadassNerd has logged ****on**

Strawberry**:** Oh! Ishida

BadassNerd: Hello Kurosaki *Pushes glasses up*

Strawberry: .............

BadassNerd: ............Well *pushes glasses up*

Strawberry: What?

BadassNerd: Are you and Kuchiki-san together? *pushes glasses up*

Strawberry: What!! NO!!

BadassNerd: Would you like to be? *pushes glasses up*

Strawberry: Ummmmm...........

Strawberry: maybe.

BadassNerd: I knew it *too shocked and triumphant to push glasses up*

Strawberry: Don't tell anyone Ishida

BadassNerd: Meh, don't worry. But you know, hasn't Renji always had his eye on her. *resumes pushing up glasses*

Strawberry: WHT?? No. They are like, childhood friends.

BadassNerd: Ooooh yeeeeaaaah. Makes sense now. Kinda get an incest feel. *nods*

Strawberry: Noooooooooo that would be if Rukia and Byakuya got together.

BadassNerd:!!!!!!!!! *clicks unsee button over 9000 times*

BadassNerd: where the f*** did you get that?!?!?!?!?!

Strawberry: I look at fanfiction

BadassNerd: ORLY???? You look at that sort of stuff.

Strawberry: yeah, it's just for the lols though.

**R3dPineapple has logged on.**

Strawberry: wha?

BadassNerd: Who be ye?

R3dPineapple: me be Renji.

BadassNerd: ?

Strawberry: Shinigami have the internet?

R3dPineapple: yes we be havin the internets.

BadassNerd: how??

R3sPineapple: Mayuri magic of course.

Strawberry: makes...sense

R3dPineapple: soooo wut wer u talkin aboot

Strawberry: we were discussing crazy pairings that I found on fanfiction.

R3dPineapple: like wut?

Strawberry: ByakuyaxRukia

R3dPineapple: .......eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww inceeeeeest.

BadassNerd: and yet, I'm intrigued. What other crack pairings have these sad individuals come up with?

Strawberry: well for starters they pair you with Nemu and Orihime.

BadassNerd: o_O *starts spluttering* what kind of sad individuals write fanfiction!!!!! And to enforce their own view on pairings no less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R3dPineapple: hmmmmm, was he right on 1 of those????

Strawberry: ~I think I was~

BadassNerd: shut up

R3dPineapple: who who who?

BadassNerd: ...............................................................................Orihime

Strawberry you owe me five dollars Renji

R3dPineapple: damn.....

BadassNerd: what!! You bet on my personal life!!... Btw Renji you owe me $25

R3dPineapple: ORLY!? _He admitted it?_

Strawberry: ADMITTED WHAT!? What did you guys bet on!?!?!?

R3dPineapple: yeah….. On another subject, Ichigo, wut else you got.

Strawberry: ummmmmm, there are quite a few weird ones surrounding the eleventh division.

R3dPineapple: figures…

BadassNerd: tell, I need blackmail material.

Strawberry: Well, there's KenpachixYachiru

R3dPineapple: Zaraki-taicho is a lolicon?

BadassNerd: wow, any more?

**Raepface has logged ****on.**

Strawberry: and there is YumichikaxIkkaku

Raepface: what!!! Where did you get that information?

Raepface: umm, I can explain…….

Raepface: wait a minute did I just say that that????????? Why???????? I blew my cover???????

Strawberry: ………………………………..

BadassNerd: ……………………………….

R3dPineapple: ……………………………… Ikkaku?

Raepface: ummmmmmmm … RUN AWAY!!!!!!!

**Raepface has logged off**

Strawberry: well that was odd.

R3dPineapple: sure wuz

BadassNerd: oh come on, you saw that coming.

**Featherz has logged ****on  
**

Featherz: what were you guys talking about?

Strawberry: we are discussing fanfiction pairings that I found.

Featherz: so why does Ikkaku look extremely creped out?

Strawberry: here follow this link.

**.net/s/5024965/1/The_Vain_and_The_Wild**

Featherz: oh god!!! That is so unbeautiful!!!!

Featherz: ……………..Except the part with me. I am beautiful.

R3dPineapple: lulwut???

Featherz: thanks for clearing that up, ill be going now… tootoloo darlings!!

**Featherz has logged off.**

Strawberry: well that was weird

BadassNerd: true dat

R3dPineapple: k k. Ichigo, wut else?

**CoatPimp has logged on.**

CoatPimp: sup mah bitches

BadassNerd: who are you?

CoatPimp: why, Kyoraku Shunsui I am

R3dPineapple: Kyoraku-taicho?

CoatPimp: yup. What are you guys reading about? *scrolls up* oooh, fanfiction pairings!!

**Sickyshiro has logged on.**

CoatPimp: Juushiro! How are you?

Sickyshiro: I'm feeling a bit better *COUGH COUGH COUGH SPLUTTER COUGH* maybe not…

Strawberry: don't push yourself too hard Ukitake-san

Sickyshiro: nonsense, I'm fine. So what are you guys talking about?

CoatPimp: they are talking about fanfiction pairings of all things.

Sickyshiro: wow…… *scrolls up to look at conversation*

Sickyshiro: …………………………………………………………???

CoatPimp: full of lols isn't it?

Sickyshiro: indeed. I know ill regret it but what are the stories about me and Shunsui?

Strawberry: you want yaoi too?

Sickyshiro: ummmmmmmm no?

CoatPimp: ha ha ha ha ha you want to look Juju chan I know you want too. Can you give us a link Ichigo?

Strawberry: yeah yeah sure.

**.net/s/5147345/1/Bathtub_adventure**

Sickyshiro: *COUGH COUGH COUGH SPLUTTER COUGH COUGH…… blood*

CoatPimp: oh god!!! What would Nanao think?! I need to get me some sake. Ill be right back.

Strawberry: speaking of which there are also a lot of stories that ship Kyoraku-san and Ise-san…

CoatPimp: ahhh I knew it. Other people also see the love between me and my lovely Nanao-chan!!!

BadassNerd: I thought you went to get some sake…

CoatPimp: it was right across the table from me

Sickyshiro: figures.... Alright, what about me?

Strawberry: well they like to pair you with kiyone......... and sentaro

Sickyshiro: WTF?! I don't swing that way

Strawberry: and sometimes Rukia...

Sickyshiro: definitely not

Strawberry: and then they pair you with Unohana-san

Sickyshiro: Unohana-san??? *shits bricks*

CoatPimp: *shits bricks*

BadassNerd: *shits bricks*

R3dPineapple: *shits bricks*

R3dPineapple: scary stuff

BadassNerd: really scary

**SexyShopkeeper95 has logged in.**

SexyShoopkeeper95: hellooooooooo everyone. I'm here to join your riveting fanfiction discussion

Strawberry: Urahara

R3dPineapple: it has to be Urahara

SexyShoopkeeper95: it certainly is freeloader-san

R3dPineapple: hey!!

SexyShoopkeeper95: now now freeloader-san, now is not the time for arguing, now is the time for gossiping!

CoatPimp: we would be delighted to have you join us Urahara-san.

SexyShoopkeeper95: why thankyou!! It just so happens that the most popular pairing for myself is me and yoruichi-san

BadassNerd: Orly? Or is that just what you would like to think?

SexyShoopkeeper95: why yes

BadassNerd: yes to what?!

Strawberry: so that means you read this stuff too?

SexyShoopkeeper95: guilty as charged

Sickyshiro: ok then, in your opinion, what is the weirdest pairing??

BadassNerd: YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION SHINIGAMI!!!

SexyShoopkeeper95: Aizen.

R3dPineapple: say wut?

SexyShoopkeeper95: they pair him with _everybody_. It's quite amusing.

CoatPimp: lol

SexyShopkeeper95: speaking of odd pairings allot of people pair hitsugaya-taichou and your little sister kurosaki-san, what would dear hinamori-chan say?

**Mel0nS0rbet**** has logged in.**

Strawberry: WHAT THE HELL HAS THAT LITTLE MIDGET DONE TO MY SISTER!?!?!?!? WHEN DID THEY EVEN MEET!?!?!?!?!?

Mel0nS0rbet: nothing kurosaki calm down, it's just a crack pairing based on a filler episode. Besides the CAPSLOCK gets to be an eyesore...

SickyShiro: hello hitsugaya-taichou, I have some candy for you!

Mel0nS0rbet: **..............**

**Mel0nS0rb****et has logged out.**

Strawberry: yeah... another pretty weird one is that some crazy people pair me with Orihime, like that girl NEEDS encouragement.....

**Unohana has logged on.**

Unohana: hello everyone.*smiles*

**CoatPimp has logged off.**

**Sickyshiro has logged off.**

**Strawberry has logged off.**

**R3dPineapple has logged off.**

**BadassNerd has logged off.**

**SexyShopkeeper95 has logged off.**

Unohana: oh well, it seems that they have other things they need to do right now. Another time.*smiles*

**Unohana has logged off.**

**You have logged off.**

**Authors note.**Hi everyone. Firstly I would love to thankyou for all your kind and encouraging reviews, I hope to have an equally kind reception for this chapter. And before you ask, yes, I am clinically insane!!!!!!! And if you don't know what I mean about Mel0nS0rbet for Shiro-chan or Raepface for Ikkaku (capslockers will know what Im talking about here.) just ask away and your questions will be answered. See you next time for more insanity!!!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Co-authors note**. Those links by the way, do actually lead to yaoi fanfiction... and it's nasty! The things I do for you plum-chan! Anyway we (mostly plum-chan) got this done over the weeks, her at the computer with me standing behind breathing done her neck and spewing perverted comments... *sigh* SUMMER DAYS! (*yes we do use fanfiction to force our ideal pairings on the reader.)


End file.
